Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages


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Funny clean jokes for all ages

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Funny Bones

Hey, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. I think the life cycle is all backward.

Read PDF Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages

Then live in an old age home. Do drugs, alcohol, party, get ready for high school. Go to grade school, become a kid, play, have no responsibilities. Become a little baby, and go back into the womb, Spend the last nine months floating and finish off as an orgasm. It has come to this.

of the best clean jokes and one-liners to make the whole family laugh | inews

I decide to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. Lay car keys down on the desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. Now, where is the checkbook? Where did I put the extra checks? I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water. What are they doing here? I head for the door and notice someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot. I realize this condition is serious.

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase, he took off 10 percent. The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me. The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun. You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.

My car is all paid for, not a nickel is owed.

My car has no scratches, not even a dent. My friends all get older … much faster than me. They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see. I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal.

I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. PS The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. Again all he saw was the frog, looking straight at him. I was a beautiful year-old princess but a witch put a spell on me. Please help me.

The old man picked up the frog and held it in his hand. Please do it for me, and then I will again turn into a beautiful, sexy, princess and I will really make you feel young again. I will make great love to you. The man closed his hand about the frog and stuffed it into his pocket.

BONES- Funny Scenes

The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, then demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. If you remembered 16 to 25, you are older than dirt. Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sunset.

Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids, glasses, Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things. Hot tea and crumpets, And corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food And no food with onions, Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring, These are a few of my favorite things. When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less. The inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven I have to wear a size nine now, But I used to wear a seven.

I need to wear these glasses. Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. Being old referred to anyone over Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot. A foot of snow was a dream come true. No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home. Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles. The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.


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Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin. Ice cream was considered a basic food group. Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw. Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

follow site Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they went on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The next day, Gert hobbles into the local drugstore and tells the pharmacist that she needs a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, almost 90 years of age , but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages
Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages Funny Bonz - The Cleanest Jokes Around for All Ages

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